[SPECIAL GUEST] Gender
Let’s face it, gender can be pretty complicated and confusing! In a society that always tells us only men and women exist, finding out that gender goes beyond this binary can be pretty mind blowing.
There are so many different identities, expressions and ideas around gender that are super cool, but can be super difficult to wrap our minds around. Even people who know a lot about gender already, are constantly learning more every day as new info and ideas around gender grow and evolve. This can leave us with a lot of questions!
You might be able to answer some of these questions through your own self-exploration and studying of gender. However, it’s also good to talk about gender with other people, and ask questions if you don’t understand stuff. Everyone experiences gender differently and there’s a lot to learn from other peoples personal and professional experiences on the topic.
That’s where our special guest comes in! This month, it’s Dani Wright Toussaint, the Freedom Centre Coordinator in Perth, WA. Freedom Centre is a drop in space for LGBTIQ+ people under the age of 26. It’s a place where Dani has a lot of experience working with young, gender diverse people, and therefor has lots of knowledge to share! They’ll be taking about what gender is, how it’s different to sex and sexuality, challenging stereotypes around gender and gender expression plus heaps more!
Got questions you’d like to ask?
Click here and ask away!
You can submit the form multiple times if you have multiple questions 🙂
Join us on Tuesday the 22nd of March, at 9pm AEDT to talk all things gender!
Until then, check out this video from BuzzFeed which explores gender and how different people approach it:
And that's a wrap! What an awesome chat ! Thanks so much for stopping by @Rainbow Lane @Dani FC @Bay52VU @j95 @FootyFan26! So good to have you all on board! If you have any more questions or thoughts about gender, it's totes okay to make a thread and start talking about it! For now, it's time for me to have a snooze! See y'all real soon!
Okay! One more question before we share our anonymous questions and the amazing answers @Dani FC wrote (seriously can't wait to show you!)
What can you do to support someone else who might be questioning their gender or transitioning?
What can you do to support someone else who might be questioning their gender or transitioning?
Keen to hear other answers on this one but I guess being respectful of their choices, not arguing against how they feel or see themselves, and respecting pronouns if they change them. Also trying to improve your own knowledge about gender, and realising that not everyone experiences it the same way or has the same ideas about transitioning, or is comfortable discussing it in the same way.
Some other placeswe can we learn more about gender diversity(including some I've already posted) are:
Reachout’s gender diversity info is pretty handy:
Other resources I think are useful include
- roostertailscomic.com/comic/queer-101-third-edition/
- scarleteen.com/article/bodies/genderpalooza_a_sex_gender_primer
- everydayfeminism.com/2015/06/6-common-mistakes-trans-allies/ and other trans related articles by the folks at Everyday Feminism http://everydayfeminism.com/?s=trans
- And one of my other faves is Beyond Blue’s Families Like Mine resources which as a super good Gender Diversity section (pp. 28-46) J org.au/familieslikemine
- https://www.google.com/maps/d/u/0/viewer?mid=zR6XQGgU43Yk.kSOH_OQiDFGM - map of world gender customs
- https://minus18.org.au/index.php/resources/sexuality-info
- The Minus18 Pronouns Resource pack https://minus18.org.au/index.php/resource-packs/pronouns
- This useful pronouns practicing resource http://www.practicewithpronouns.com/
- The Ally Project from Victoria, Australia has great resources about how to be an ally to trans and gender diverse people allyproject.org
- The QLives short films that were recently released that are all on the QLife Australia YouTube channel.
- and pretty much all the videos on FC's youtube trans and genderqueer playlist 🙂
One of the anonymous qus we got sent for tonight is:
“I want to start presenting differently to feel more like myself, but I'm worried that people will make incorrect assumptions about my reasons for "changing" or about my sexuality. I don't want to 'come out' or start a conversation - I just want to feel like a more authentic version of myself. Is there anything I can do to combat those worries and just get started, and what should I say if/when people try to ask me about it?"
My answer is:
I know this sort of circumstance can be tough – when you want to affirm who you are without having to spend heaps of time explaining all of what it means (and doesn’t mean!) Feeling ready to make some changes like this can feel easier if you plan for a few possibilities. It’s understandable if people want to check in with where you’re at when you’re changing things up too, so having some really simplified explanations that work for you can be a good way to go. Some short responses like:
“I’m just being a more authentic version of myself”
“I’m just doing me”
“I just wanted to express myself differently” /more freely / accurately/ truthfully”
“I’m just exploring gender expression”
“I just feel more comfortable this way”
…or that kind of thing could work for some of us. I know I personally vary in my responses depending on who’s asking, and the where and when of the circumstances. So have a think through who and what circumstances you might vary your responses to questions that you’re worried about and maybe have a few versions of answers to those questions.
You might also feel like having some useful info resources in mind and at the ready to give to people so they can inform themselves and not have to rely on you explaining yourself to them. When I came out about my gender diversity more widely I used the following resource in particular:
www.roostertailscomic.com/comic/queer-101-third-edition/
Reachout’s gender diversity info is pretty handy too:
au.reachout.com/all-about-sex-and-gender
au.reachout.com/wellbeing/personal-identity/gender
And one of my other faves is Beyond Blue’s Families Like Mine resources which as a super good Gender Diversity section (pp. 28-46) J
beyondblue.org.au/familieslikemine
Aaaand then, once you feel like you’re as prepared as possible, you just have to jump in and do the things you want to do to feel more comfortable. Sometimes, after lots of preparation and anticipation, people barely notice or respond to the changes. Other times you’re really glad you thoroughly prepared yourself!
Do any of you have anything you'd say to answer this?
Also, go easy on yourself - if you need to say something that isn't the whole truth or is a way of getting the situation over with if you're not feeling up to it, that's OK. Sometimes I've just said that cutting my hair was more practical, or that wearing a binder is better for my back. That's partly true but not the whole story, but it was all I could manage saying at the time and THAT"S ALL GOOD. We have to be kind and generous with ourselves and that means working with the spoons we have at the time 🙂
Yeah Soz @Bay52VU - I have a lot to say on this topic if you couldn't tell 😉
Another question we got sent in advance of tonight is:
"A lot of people seem to say that gender is binary, and that anyone who doesn't believe they fit within the two categories is deluded, sick, and/or just trying to be "special" or get attention. Are they right or wrong, and how do you know? "
The gender binary is certainly socially constructed – based on many stereotypes and cultural aspects.
Despite what we’re commonly taught, even physiological sex isn’t binary as intersex people make up about 1.7% of people. This makes intersex differences about as common as red hair. Find out more about intersex here: https://oii.org.au/allies/
But there are a range of gender customs across the world that are neatly illustrated with this fab map that I posted earlier
Even the British Museum has a collection that shows gender diversity throughout history
So yup they’re wrong basically 😉 hahaha *cheeky*
Wow, what a night! So much learning and so many good resources to check out!
Would like to thank everyone who contributed tonight; it was amazing talking to you all! Would also like to say a special thanks to @Dani FC for teaching us so much about gender diversity. If you want to learn more about Freedom Centre head to freedom.org.au Also thanks to @Ben-RO for being amazing and organising this session 🙂
Be sure to take a look through the entire thread for all the resources/links and videos included in tonight's discussion. And again, remember to look after yourself! We've talked about a lot tonight. If you want to talk to someone one on one in an emergency situation, check out this link. If you want to talk about sex, sexuality and gender with someone one on one, call QLife!
Hey everyone! Sorry I'm late I was engaging in some good old self care
Hey everyone! Welcome to tonight’s infobus session. Tonight we’re talking to the amazing @Dani FC from Freedom Centre (Perth) about gender diversity.
Before we start, just a reminder to take care of yourselves during this chat. Sometimes our stories can contain some pretty intense stuff, stuff that some of us might even be going through right now. If you’re not feeling great, it’s important to talk to someone about it. Make a post in our community or, in an emergency, talk to someone one on one. You can also call QLife, a peer based LGBTI line, if you want to talk more about gender, sex and sexuality specifically.
And one last thing. Remember to follow the guidelines when posting in our chat. Don’t break anonymity, don’t talk about things that might be triggering for other people (specific meds and self harm in particular). And last but not least, be kind to each other 
And with that out of the way, here's our first question: What does the word gender mean to you?
What does the word gender mean to you?
I think it's how you are physically... no, it's what you feel like you are maybe.
I've had sex, sexuality and gender explained to me a million times here and still can't remember it!
You're leading us perfectly into our next question:
What’s the difference between sex, sexuality and gender? How are they related to each other?
